I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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