why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
