Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
