Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Enjoy the penises
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
