ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My balls are so social today.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
