i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
