He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
