I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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