Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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