My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There's always time for handjobs
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
