So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
