is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
