I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
