at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
