so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
