Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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