so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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