im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
