David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize