Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
