I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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