Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize
