There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
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