He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
