Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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