Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Sober January is a disaster.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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