do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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