oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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