woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
