im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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