It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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