dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
