Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's rum buckets o'clock
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
