shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
