I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
