Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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