what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
