Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It all started with a game of naked twister.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
