Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
and she was petting her beer can
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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