she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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