Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
