is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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