her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
