he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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