Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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