I want you more than these girls want KFC
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
