yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
