You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
