Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
