dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
