Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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