The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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