Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
