great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
